for raquel...

This letter goes to the woman I love. A lass who have taken my breath away, but keeps me alive. Captured by a flirtatious smile and an innocent kiss. This wandering soul suddenly stood still with a grin…at last I've found her.

My love, I may not have the most grandiose words to express the language of my heart, but I know the blood that flows in every beat it makes tells how my feelings for you flows. You are every scar that I have; permanent and will always stay. Perhaps, the most vivid description I could utter may not be embodied by my lips nor can my action speak louder as some poets may say, but rather by a mere gaze. I have stared at you more than you might have known and every look I see the face of the wife that I long to have; the mother of my kids (note plural); my part-time lover; my full-time friend.

I love you.

I always have and will always be.

And by the way, Happy Birthday!

dada

there i was on my mediocre so called life; wandering nowhere and reluctantly admitting that my biological body has already escaped adolescence. i was fine, i mean i am fine, but suddenly a surge of thoughts from an unknown source flodded my usually empty head...i wanna be a dad.

ok. i know it's not a big deal. at my age, i am supposed to be a father, but why suddenly? was it love and lust conniving with my parental genes to signal my brain that it's time to plant my seeds? or is it simply because i'm getting old and finally my balls are matured to take the responsibility of fatherhood? or maybe both...and more.

i know it's not going to be easy, it's what separate men from boys. i am physically grown up but emotinally retarded but i know i am going to be a good father just like my dad (of course my dad isn't as retarded as I).

but it's not happening soon, not yet.